Found

Lost. & then thankfully found 3 hours later sandwiched between two pot lids in the cupboard.  I’m talking about Snowy & Sleepy here- not my son.

Return of the Zombie

My baby has been replaced with a cheeky, hyperactive 2 year old.

Oh my, I am so tired.  I really hope Master A decides to start sleeping better again.  I was up about 10 times last night, each time woken by a loud, incessant wailing of “uh oh, Mummy!”, & before stumbling back to bed after sorting out whatever drama it was that time, a chirpy “night night, Mummy!”.  Although, after about the 3rd go, this really was not seeming very cute at all.  Couple this with refusal of day time naps, & my patience has been tested to the far ends of my sanity (yet again).

I don’t know what’s up with him, but it seems like major changes are on the way.

He has decided that he doesn’t like the bath.  So we have been having a bath in the laundry tub.  As you do.

Toilet training is also on the cards.  This afternoon we bought a kiddyloo, so he can step up onto the toilet & feel safe on his little seat.  He had the choice of a Thomas Tank Engine one, or the plain blue one although I think the ladder was the selling point for him.  This afternoon, he climbed up and down about a zillion times.  Everytime he farted, he ran off to the toilet, & boy did he fart a lot (not sure why!?)  He also practiced wiping & flushing & jumping down…alas, he did not practice any actual expelling of bodily functions.

On a more positive note, he is a “big boy” now & is happy to leave dummy, Snowy & Sleepy in the top drawer in our entry way.

Living with a toddler

There is something especially lovely about living with a toddler.
Someone who is generally genuinely happy for a great proportion of the day.
Who wakes up with boundless, endless amounts of energy.
And who is truly pleased to proudly announce “bus!” whenever he spots one.
Gee whiz- I have a lot to learn from my toddler.

Precious soul

One of the things I love most recently is watching A interact with other children.  Sometimes I really do forget that he is a real person, not just my baby.  Not sure if that makes sense!  But I love seeing him take in all the new things in his world, watching his reactions & seeing how he negotiates and co-operates with others.

What I do not like, however, is his addiction to food that gives him a sore bott-bott.  He can’t get enough of sultanas and corn & it really is bad news.  I am going to have to ban them.  Ok, too much information!  It’s just that today was particularly bad in that department.

Now I’m going to have to finish off my essay marking before heading to bed.  Yes.  Problem in society is contradict is teacher mark essay late, affect student and bring big problem heatly-debated in society (sorry I’m being mean to my students but this is the kind of stuff I have to deal with!).

Looking up

I had a pretty rough week last week- mainly my attitude really, but everything was hard.  Lack of sleep, tantrums, that time of the month- yup- it was all too much.

Glad to say that today, Ash & I had a lovely day!  Having visitors made me ensure the house was clean.  Even though I clean everyday, you really can’t tell!  But today we managed to keep it tidy until midday, when a very excited 4 year old and 14 month old arrived for a play.  I even had dinner slow cooking all day so all up, I felt very organised.  I think this really makes a difference to me- when I feel on top of things, I can cope.

I’ve done something for myself by joining a hockey team.  I really need to exercise and maintain the motivation to keep fit and be healthy.  I find it pretty difficult to get to the gym so I think this is going to be a better solution.  We played on Saturday and I am really sore- haven’t run around like that for years!

Anyway, I have two weeks off from teaching.  Yay for holidays!

Weekend? What weekend?

Uuuggghh, what a weekend.  Ash had been unwell since about Tuesday; not especially sick, but a bit of a cold and snotty nose.  Then we had night dramas- I was sure it was tummy pain as he was passing lots of wind and pulling his legs up.  He went to daycare on Wednesday and Thursday and had great days, he had developed a minor cough, but he was not unhappy, and even the snot was not so bad.  

But Friday was a very very challenging day.  He was just out of sorts the whole day.  About mid afternoon, his breathing started to sound very wheezy.  Come the middle of the night, he was coughing and screaming and so unsettled we had no idea what to do.  His breathing was starting to sound worse and worse.  The locum came out to look at him, and then told us to go to the hospital as his breathing was not good.  So, off to the hospital we went at 2am in the morning.  We were seen pretty quickly.  They confirmed that Ash was working hard to breathe however luckily he was getting enough oxygen.  But to keep a close eye on him and if it got worse, to come back.  

On Saturday morning at about 11am, we ended up back at the hospital again.  They gave him ventolin (a process he absolutely hated, poor love!) all day and all night.  His blood pressure was very elevated as he was labouring so much to breathe, but all other stats were ok after he received the initial lot of ventolin.  Anyway, both Ash and I arrived home this morning at about 10am.

Which brings me to our other dilemma.  Cinder.  She is such a beautiful dog but she couldn’t handle Ash’s yelling and screaming.  It really scared her.  And unfortunately, she just didn’t seem to be happy here.  She became so stressed when left alone, & other times, even with all of us at home, she couldn’t settle.  She was used to having other dogs as company and only one main carer.  I think she was confused that both Paul and I were around all day, and she really missed another dog to do doggie stuff with.  Paul couldn’t come to the hospital with us both times as we were so scared that Cinder would body slam the back door and cut herself.  It just didn’t seem fair for her; she really is a gorgeous dog.

So, after speaking to the adoption program coordinator, everyone decided that she needs a family with another dog, and only one carer.  I took her back to her foster home & she seemed so happy to be back with her foster family.  It was a 3 hour round trip though, so I didn’t get back until 2.30 this afternoon.

That is why I feel like the weekend has just been a blur!

Thankfully, our little bubba is doing much better now, although his cough is really bad and I’ve been told he is still contagious so we will be housebound this week I think.  He is such a sweetheart- he charmed all the nurses at hospital.  His voice is so gruff & I think he likes the sound of it, as he’s started to do this very very cute little humph with a smile- it sounds evil- but cute!!!!!!!!

Solved?

Not much sleep has been happening in our house lately- I am sure Ash wants to play in the middle of the night- in particular, I think he wants to practice walking with his pusher up and down the hall.  It’s been taking sometimes up to 2 hours to resettle him.  Hence, I’ve been feeling like I’m spiralling again towards a nervous breakdown.

Yesterday, completely exhausted and stressed out, I realised that the nights that are really bad usually follow days that have been quite boring (in Ashie’s view).  The last thing I wanted to do yesterday was go out, but we bundled into the car & headed to the Big Rocking Horse.  It has a lovely green shady lawn, which we sat on & had lunch.  Ash had a great conversation with a peacock.  Then we went for a walk through the wildlife park & Ash was very interested in all the animals, especially the ponies and the kangaroos.  After this, it was back onto the grass for more crawling and exploring.

Needless to say, last night he slept much better.  Have I solved the problem?  I can only hope.

Take a bite

Hhhhmmmmn…….my child has started biting.  Yesterday he sunk his teeth into my shoulder.  He had had a very big day.  He was tired & frustrated because he wanted to play with a pink pram, which belonged to someone else.  He started crying very loudly so I scooped him up & then………ouch!

Then today at playgroup, he was playing with a toy, when another bub crawled up & wanted to join in.  Ash looked at me, protested, tried to push her away, then leaned in close to her chest & opened his mouth!  Thank goodness he didn’t get a grip.

I’m understanding Ash’s frustration.  Sometimes I wanna bite people too!

Finally some relief

The weather has cooled at last.  It’s funny how quickly you get used to situations- we had pretty much become accustomed to staying housebound all day in the airconditioning, only venturing out to the clam pool on the deck.  I can’t wait for tomorrow when we may be able to go for a bikeride at the beach, or play in the park.

I think I want to clarify something that I wrote the other day.  I said I would feel guilty about spending time away from Ash unnecessarily.  But, that’s not actually true- I want to spend that time with him so I wouldn’t really consider doing it (ie: sending him to daycare while I hang out at home).  I guess I feel guilty about the fact that I often want “me” time but it’s hard to claim that time.

Anyway, the only real news I have is that the temperature has finally dropped.  Hallelujah.

Skin

One of my biggest aims/ hopes is that as I grow older, I can become more & more comfortable in my own skin.

It’s a big challenge for many people- I’m sure I’m no different from other men & women who are trying to become the best they can be.

I’ve definitely made some progress in this area, especially since Ash was born.  In fact, becoming a mother has provided me with the very best reason to try to grow.  But I still have times where I feel inadequate.  Where everyone else’s life seems so much more exciting.  Where I compare myself to others for whom life seems to flow so easily.  Success and prosperity miraculously appear for them, whereas I feel like I struggle.  I feel jealous & even a bit bitter.

I’m trying to overcome these feelings today.  

To be comfortable in my own skin I need to accept that comparing myself to others is useless.  Feelings of jealousy are not beneficial to me- in fact, they only serve to block the goodness that wants to come into my life.  

I can never really know what it is to be someone else & even if I got the chance, I would probably wish I could go back to being me.  (Better the devil you know & all that!)

This is probably a very boring post so I apologise for that, but hey, this is me, so like it or lump it!